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Writer's pictureCassidy Lovallo

Understanding Self-Care: Exploring the Spoon Theory through a DBT-Informed Lens

By Cassidy Lovallo LCPC | New Hope Counseling Group

A woman is sitting on a rock in a forest, with her eyes closed and a peaceful expression on her face. She is wearing a beige vest over a white t-shirt and has tattoos on her forearms. In the background, there is a hammock tied between two trees. The sunlight filters through the trees, creating a serene and tranquil atmosphere.

As a counselor committed to helping clients navigate their unique mental health journeys, I constantly seek effective and relatable frameworks to do so. One therapy tool I found to be helpful with a variety of clients is the use of the Spoons Theory, developed by Christine Miserandino. Originally designed to explain the experience of living with chronic illness, the Spoons Theory offers profound insights into managing mental health and creating achievable future goals. When viewed through the lens of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), this theory can be a helpful guide for individuals working towards a balanced and fulfilling life.

Understanding Spoon Theory

The Spoons Theory uses "spoons" as a metaphor for the finite amount of physical and mental energy a person has each day. Christine Miserandino, who lives with lupus, introduced this concept to help others understand the daily challenges faced by those with chronic illnesses. In essence, spoons represent units of energy (mental, physical, or emotional). Tasks and activities, whether small or large, consume these spoons. When spoons run out, the person may struggle to complete even the simplest of tasks.


This image is titled "The Spoon Theory" and explains a way to describe the energy limitations of those living with chronic illness, represented by spoons. It asks how you would use your energy if you only had 12 spoons per day, with each activity costing a certain number of spoons. For example, if you didn’t sleep well, forgot to take your meds, or skipped a meal, you should take away 1 spoon. If you have a cold, take away 4 spoons.  Activities and their spoon costs are as follows:  1 spoon: get out of bed, bathe, get dressed, take pills, watch TV 2 spoons: style hair, surf the internet, read/study 3 spoons: make & eat a meal, make plans & socialize, light housework, drive somewhere 4 spoons: go to work/school, go shopping, go to the doctor, exercise The Spoon Theory was written by Christine Miserando, and more information can be found on her website butyoudontlooksick.com.

For example, getting out of bed might cost one spoon, preparing breakfast another, and so forth. Individuals without chronic conditions typically have an abundance of spoons and can perform daily activities without much thought. However, those with chronic conditions—or mental health challenges—must be strategic and mindful about how they use their limited spoons.


DBT and the Spoons Theory

A person is relaxing in a hammock in a forested area, reading a book. The focus is on their hands and the open book, with the hammock and trees providing a serene, green background. Sunlight filters through the trees, creating a peaceful and calming atmosphere. The person has tattoos on their forearms, and the hammock is draped in a warm, earthy color. The overall scene suggests a quiet and restful moment in nature.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan, is an evidence-based therapeutic approach that combines cognitive-behavioral techniques with concepts of mindfulness and acceptance. DBT is known for being particularly effective in treating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), however it is understood today that DBT’s principles can benefit anyone struggling with emotional regulation, stress, and interpersonal relationships.


Integrating the Spoons Theory into DBT can enhance the therapeutic process in several ways:

  • Mindfulness and Spoon Allocation: DBT emphasizes mindfulness—being fully present in the moment without judgment. By applying mindfulness to the Spoons Theory, individuals can become more aware of how they spend their energy (spoons) and make conscious choices about their daily activities based on the “spoons” they have that day, or the spoons they plan to have next week. This awareness helps in conserving spoons for essential tasks and reducing the likelihood of burnout.

  • Distress Tolerance and Spoon Conservation: Distress tolerance skills in DBT are about enduring and surviving crises without making them worse. Understanding the Spoons Theory can aid in developing distress tolerance by recognizing when spoons are running low and employing techniques such as self-soothing and distraction to increase your window to tolerate additional stressors.

  • Emotion Regulation and Spoon Management: DBT's emotion regulation skills help individuals understand and modulate their emotional responses. By recognizing that emotional upheavals consume spoons, clients can use DBT techniques to manage their emotions more effectively, thereby conserving their energy for necessary tasks and engagements.

  • Interpersonal Effectiveness and Spoons: Healthy relationships are crucial for well-being but can be draining. DBT's interpersonal effectiveness skills teach clients how to maintain relationships while setting boundaries to protect their spoons. This involves learning to say no, asking for help, and communicating needs clearly to prevent unnecessary depletion of energy.


Practical Steps for Applying the Spoons Theory in Your Mental Health Journey


Incorporating the Spoons Theory into your mental health or wellness journey can be transformative. Here are some practical steps to implement this theory in your daily life:


  • Assessment and Awareness: Start by assessing your daily spoon usage. Keep a "spoon diary" to track your activities and identify patterns of energy expenditure. This practice can help you pinpoint areas where you might be unnecessarily depleting your spoons.

  • Prioritization and Planning: Prioritize your activities based on the number of spoons you have each day. Plan your days in a way that balances necessary tasks with self-care and rest to avoid burnout.

  • Skill Building: Build skills that support spoon management using DBT techniques. Practice mindfulness to increase awareness of your energy levels. Develop distress tolerance skills to navigate low-spoon days, and use emotion regulation strategies to prevent emotional exhaustion. Enhance your interpersonal effectiveness to maintain healthy, supportive relationships without overextending yourself.

  • Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion. Remember, it's okay to have days when you run out of spoons sooner than expected. Listen to your body and mind, and take rest when needed. Acknowledge your efforts and be kind to yourself during challenging times.


A person is relaxing in a hammock in a forested area, reading a book. The focus is on their hands and the open book, with the hammock and trees providing a serene, green background. Sunlight filters through the trees, creating a peaceful and calming atmosphere. The person has tattoos on their forearms, and the hammock is draped in a warm, earthy color. The overall scene suggests a quiet and restful moment in nature.

By combining the practical and relatable framework of the Spoons Theory with the skill-based approach of DBT, individuals can gain greater control over their lives, make informed choices about their activities, and develop resilience in the face of daily stressors.


At New Hope Counseling Group, we are dedicated to providing innovative and effective strategies to support your mental health journey. If you resonate with the Spoons Theory or are interested in learning more about how DBT can help you manage your energy and emotions, please reach out to us. Together, we can explore these tools and work towards a balanced, fulfilling life.


 

Cassidy Lovallo, LCPC, is a licensed clinical professional counselor specializing in DBT informed teletherapy. Through her practice, she aims to provide compassionate and effective support for individuals navigating complex emotional and physical health challenges, tailoring client treatment plans and goals to each individual client from a culturally sensitive lens.

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